Friday, March 8, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Wouldn't it be nice to not know who or what a Jar Jar Binks is? Wouldn't it be nice to NEVER see Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker… or Hayden Christensen for that matter? Wouldn't it be nice to never hear his bitchy winey voice again?
Wouldn't it be nice to never hear the term midi-chlorian? EVER?!
Oooh oooh, better yet. Lets erase the entire Star Wars universe from our minds so we can watch them all over again from scratch!!!
Dear scientists - please make the "Eternal Sunshine" technology a real thing - for Star Wars sake.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The plan was to leave work a few hours early to get to the ballpark with plenty of pre-gaming time. The reality was I left work, got on 95 towards the city and INSTANTLY hit bumper to bumper traffic. (which I was honestly anticipating, and was another reason I left early) The stop-and-go flow of a "jammed due to an accident" highway did not take well to the cars 13 year old transmission. It started slipping in and out of gear and eventually left me in the left lane of 95, unable to move. Add on a couple thousand cars surrounding me that now have to change lanes as I put my hazard lights on, and you could imagine the situation was becoming rather unpleasant. Not to mention, I had two Phillies Playoff tickets in my hand.
Two F-18's were supposed to start the game by doing a low pass over the park. I'm mid way down 95, with the skyline in view, and over head pass the two F-18's. I look down at the clock. 6:01. Game-time is 6:05.
After letting the car sit off for ten minutes or so I turned it back on, threw it in gear and got a 10 second burst of working transmission. Enough to get me into the right lane, and onto the shoulder. (situation improved... slightly)I figured if it worked once, it might again. So after another ten minutes or so I started the car, threw it in gear, accelerated as fast as it would go in the fifteen seconds of transmission that I had, and coasted as far as I could, pulling back onto the shoulder. Rinse and repeat another five or six times, and I was able to coast down the Bridge St. exit ramp to lovely Bridge and James part of town.
I made a few calls and arranged a ride... and found the closest bar. (which was conveniently placed right across the street)
Blue Dot: An abandoned lot I was able to coast the car to. (yeah, real nice)
Purple Dot: Fibber McGees "Irish Pub"
FIBBER McGEES was the name of the bar. It displays the words "Irish Pub" on its sign... first of all, it really didn't even resemble a pub, bar, taproom, saloon, or tavern. More like a basement bar in your friends house... come to think of it, I've been in a few homemade friends' bars that were nicer than this. Secondly, to call this place an Irish Pub is straight blasphemy. Some Irish woman in Dublin is crying right now because this place exists. The place had quite the mix of regulars. And a bartender who kept a full mug of beer full at all times for herself while throwing back Jell-O shots with the customers.
Tonights tap selection: BUD, PABST BLUE RIBBON, COORS LIGHT, MILLER LITE, & YUENGLING LAGER. Somehow I get the feeling that all the taps run straight into the same Milwaukee's Best keg under the bar. I figured ordering a Troegs or Dogfish Head would probably be taken as a racial or social slur and get me kicked out of the bar... so it was a Yuengling kinda afternoon. After all, I wanted to at least WATCH the Phills.
A few beers down, I'm waiting for my ride outside of the "bar". A young woman comes up to me with her child in one of those front chest carriers. She asked me if I knew her husband and if I saw him in the bar. I tell her I'm just passing through as she tells me all about how her husband said he was coming here, and how he's not here, and where could he be? and who could he be with? My ride arrived not a moment too soon.
And what car saves the day?!?!? None other than my Audi. For ONCE! For ONCE! FOR ONCE!
Well I get to the game. Park for free because I'm so late. Walking up to the park I notice the orange Conan Blimp overhead, and I knew everything would be okay.
Thank you Conan O'Brien. The game was awesome, the Phills beat the Reds, and after sitting in an hour of parking lot traffic and having a young FRANGRY girl yelling Anti-American slurs at the car in front of us... I FINALLY GOT HOME.
Back to Bridge St & James. Day two. Called GEICO, they paid for the tow. I had to wait in another bar, recommended by the Geico representative, only a two block walk and quite the improvement over McGee's. They had Guinness on tap. There was much rejoicing. The car was loaded up onto the truck, we got on the road and instantly hit traffic on 76... or SEVENTY-SUX.